The French Dimension
by TheArchivis
Summary: Rick and Morty get ambushed and crash-land in a new dimension where time seems to have stood still for a decade. Unable to go home, Rick decides to set up shop as a teacher at a local private school, where he stumbles upon an adventure into a new world that is not without danger.
1. Chapter 1

"THE FRENCH DIMENSION" by TheArchivis

Based on the series "CODE LYOKO" created by Thomas Romain and Tania Palumbo

Based on the series "RICK AND MORTY" created by Dan Harmon and Justin Roiland

SCENE 1: COLD OPEN

 **EXT./LOW EARTH ORBIT**

Morty is in the driver's seat of Rick's space car, wildly swerving around while Rick silently judges him from the passenger seat. Rick pulls a flask out from under his lab coat and takes a swig from it.

RICK  
What are you even swerving for? There's nothing around us!

MORTY  
We're in SPACE! Some of us aren't in space all the time!

Rick nearly spills his flask as Morty swerves to avoid crashing into a satellite. Rick puts his flask back in his lab coat.

RICK  
Which is why I'm trying to teach you! So that when you ARE in space, you'll know what to do.

MORTY  
We're supposed to be here so that you can teach me how to drive! This, this is nothing like driving a normal car! Why are we even here?

RICK  
I just told you; so that you can- HIT THE BREAKS RIGHT NOW!

MORTY  
Real funny, Rick-OH GOD!

Morty slams on the breaks and barely avoids making contact with a gigantic alien battleship that dwarfs Rick's car as it looms over them.

MORTY  
Where did that even come from!

Rick just looks Morty in the eye without even saying a word.

MORTY  
Rick? Why aren't you saying anything?

RICK  
Don't move. It can't see you if you don't move.

A hatch on the side of the battleship opens up and fires a big ass laser at the satellite, destroying it.

CUT TO:

 **INT./SMITH HOUSE - LIVING ROOM, DAY**

Summer is sitting on the couch dicking around on her phone while Jerry sits in his recliner watching a soap opera on TV. Close up on the TV screen where Mrs. Pancakes is in the arms of a strong, muscular man.

TV ANNOUNCER  
We now return to the season finale of "The Days and Nights of Mrs. Pancakes".

MRS. PANCAKES  
You don't KNOW ME.

SOME GUY  
But I've GOT TO know you! It's time I finally GOT TO know you-

The television signal cuts out, static fills the screen.

JERRY (offscreen)  
No!

Jerry gets up from his recliner and puts his hands on his head. Summer doesn't even look up from her phone.

BACK TO:

 **EXT./LOW EARTH ORBIT**

The battleship blocks out the sun as it approaches the space car. Morty looks at Rick with sheer panic in his eyes; Rick looks back with complete boredom on his face.

MORTY  
What do we do!

RICK  
When I give the word, floor it.

Rick grabs the transmission and puts the space car in reverse. The battleship continues its slow approach.

RICK  
Not yet…

The battleship keeps coming and scatters the debris field from the satellite. Morty is still freaking out.

RICK  
Not yet…

The battleship gets up real close. It's so close that you can almost taste it. Rick pulls his portal gun out from under his lab coat.

RICK  
Now! Do it now!

Morty slams on the gas pedal and the space car flies backwards away from the battleship. If the battleship notices them at all, it doesn't seem to give a shit what they're doing. Rick leans out the window and creates a portal; the car flies into it and…

 **EXT./SKY ABOVE PARIS, DAY**

The car appears in a clear blue sky above Paris, France and begins heating up as it suddenly re-enters an atmosphere. The Eiffel Tower is clearly visible in the background. A piece of debris follows the space car through the portal and tears into the engine. The car starts smoking as it begins losing altitude.

MORTY  
WE'RE GONNA DIE!

RICK  
Move over.

Rick puts the transmission back in forward drive and calmly takes the wheel from Morty. Rick turns the space car around and steers it into a lazy-S pattern to burn off excess speed.

 **EXT./PARK, DAY**

Close-up on a bird's nest nestled in the nook of a branch where a bird is tending to its eggs. The bird hears a high-pitched whine and looks behind it, where it sees the space car approaching at high speed. The high pitched whine resolves into Morty screaming as the bird flies away right before the space car crashes into the tree and drives itself into the ground. The top hatch opens up and Rick and Morty climb out of the car. Rick pops the top on the visibly smoking engine.

RICK  
Well, looks like we're gonna be stuck here for a while.

MORTY  
What did you do!? WHAT DID YOU DO!?

RICK  
I sent us to another dimension. Duh.

MORTY  
But what kind of dimension?

Rick looks over his shoulder at Morty and points a screwdriver at him. He shrugs his shoulders.

RICK  
I dunno. Another dimension.

MORTY  
What do you mean you don't know? How do you know that there are people here? Or if the air doesn't have some kind of virus in it?

RICK  
I just set the portal gun to find some place with a habitable planet and a genetic match of me on it. Beyond that I have NO idea where we are.

MORTY  
Then why don't you use your portal gun to take us home?

RICK  
And leave the car here? Besides, it looks like that dimension is about to get riggedy-riggedy-rekt. Might as well set up shop here.

MORTY  
But you said that there was another you here. Maybe he can help us!

Rick raises his lab coat to show Morty a laser gun held in the waist of his pants.

RICK  
Eh. We've dealt with that before.

JIM MORALES, a heavy-set man in a red and black tracksuit with a Band-Aid on his face, walks out from behind a tree with his hands above his head and approaches Rick.

JIM  
Puis-je vous aider Monsieur?

SUBTITLE: Can I help you, sir?

CUE THEME MUSIC

RICK (to Morty)  
Oh no, Morty. I think I found out what the gimmick here is.

MORTY  
What. Are there alien hive minds? Cyborg dog people? (beat) Butts?

Rick pulls his laser gun out of his waistband and points it at Jim.

RICK  
Worse; the French.

CUT TO OPENING TITLES

Author's Note: This won't be updated as quickly as my previous stories have been. Between working on an online college course over the summer and polishing a piece of original fiction that I've meant to start for some time, I simply don't have as much time as I normally would to work on fanfiction. That being said, I do hope that you stick around for my experiment in crossing over two works that in any sane world would have no business being crossed-over.


	2. Chapter 2

SCENE 2: HAVE YOU EVER MET A FRENCH GUY?

 **EXT./PARK, DAY**

Jim Morales is doing yoga in a clearing in the park. He assumes a crane's stance and freezes in place when he hears a high pitched whine in the background. He looks all around him, nothing. Then he looks up as the whine resolves into Morty screaming and he sees Rick's space car barreling down right at him. Jim screams and runs to hide behind a tree as the space car plows into the ground. Jim peers out from behind the tree as Rick and Morty hop out of the car.

JIM (V.O.)  
C'est presque comme ma période à l'armée.

SUBTITLE: This is almost like that time I was in the army.

Jim contemplates what he should do. He assumes a Penack Silat stance, then he sees Rick showing Morty the laser gun. Jim decides that approaching the aliens with hostility would be a bad idea.

He calmly puts his hands up and walks out from behind the tree to approach Rick.

JIM  
Puis-je vous aider Monsieur?

SUBTITLE: Can I help you, sir?

Rick points the laser gun at Jim.

RICK (to Morty)  
Worse, the French.

Morty grabs Rick's arm and pulls him aside.

MORTY  
Woah, woah, woah! How do you know that this is the French dimension? We could just be, you know, IN FRANCE!

RICK  
There are seven and a half billion people on Earth, Morty. There are only sixty seven million French people. There is less than a 1% chance that the first person we interact with on a new Earth is French. Those odds are too small! Ergo, we are in the French dimension.

MORTY  
You know, that SOUNDS like it makes sense. But it's just kind of insane!

Morty points at Rick's laser gun

MORTY (cont.)  
And that's also insane! Why is being French a reason to point a gun at him!?

RICK  
Have YOU ever met a French guy?

MORTY  
...no?

RICK  
Then there's no reason to assume the best, is there?

MORTY  
Goddamn it- Give me that.

Morty takes the gun from Rick and throws it into the car. He approaches Jim.

MORTY  
I'm sorry, mister, whoever you are. We're lost, can you tell us where we are?

JIM  
Je suis desole. Je ne parle pas anglais.

SUBTITLE: I'm sorry. I don't speak English.

Morty looks very confused.

MORTY  
Uh, uh, uh-

RICK  
Here, let me help you.

Rick pulls out a different gun and shoots Jim. A blue energy field envelops his body and he collapses to the ground. He screams his head off as he gets up.

JIM  
AAH! What the hell is- What am I saying! How am I doing this! AAAH!

SUBTITLE: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Jim's mouth is wildly out of sync with the words he's saying, almost like it's a hastily done dub. Morty turns to Rick and grabs his shirt collar.

MORTY  
What was that!?

RICK  
I made him speak English. Don't tell me that it isn't helpful.

MORTY  
Why do you have a gun that makes- you know what? I don't care.

Morty facepalms and turns back to Jim.

MORTY  
I'm sorry about that. My grandpa's a little trigger happy. Can you tell us where we are?

JIM  
I speak French but English comes out of my talk! That does not mean that I understand a word I say! Or what you say what did he do with me!?

SUBTITLE: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

MORTY (to Rick)  
No, no this is not helpful. This has been the opposite of helpful.

RICK  
Whatever. Let's find out who this guy is the easy way.

Rick walks over to Jim and gives him a Vulcan nerve pinch. He passes out and falls to the ground. Rick searches his jacket and pulls out a wallet. He opens it and pulls out Jim's ID.

RICK (cont.)  
Jim Morales, athletic director at Kadic Academy. Eh, that's as likely a place as any for us to find some real people. But first, let's hide all this stuff.

Rick pulls out his keyfob and presses a button; the wreckage of his space car turns invisible. He reaches under his lab coat and pulls out a pair of tiny yellow leeches. He puts one in his ear and approaches Morty with the other.

RICK  
Here, put this thing in your ear.

MORTY  
What is it?

RICK  
It's a universal translator, you'll be able to speak and understand any language.

MORTY  
Fine- wait, if you had that this whole time then why did you-

RICK  
Because shooting someone is way faster than putting a leech in their ear while they're screaming French at you. Speed is very important, Morty. You've gotta understand that.

Rick shoves the leech in Morty's ear. He and Morty walk away from the car.

SCENE 3: THANKS, YOU

 **EXT./KADIC COURTYARD, DAY**

Rick and Morty walk around the courtyard of Kadic Academy, a prestigious private middle school in Paris, France. There are students everywhere. Rick looks at a teenage girl wearing a Che Guevera shirt and those pants with zippers on the legs that turn into shorts. Rick points and laughs, Morty just looks confused.

RICK  
Wow, I haven't seen one of those in years.

A couple of emo kids walk past Rick. He raises an eyebrow.

RICK  
Or that, wait.

Rick's eyes dart around the campus. Everywhere he looks there is more 2000s stuff; a teacher talks on a flip phone, a girl with a bare midriff and sweatpants jogs down the street with an iPod, a blonde kid with glasses and a turtleneck works on a big ass Dell laptop. Rick points this out to Morty.

RICK  
All this 2000s stuff, it's nuts.

MORTY  
Did we go back in time?

RICK  
Time travel doesn't exist, Morty. Some universes are further along than others, but it's never more than a few days. Being behind by over a decade is really unusual.

Rick reaches under his lab coat and pulls out a doohickey covered in flashing lights and dials. It starts beeping and flashing.

RICK  
There's definitely a genetic match of me around here somewhere, but it could be anyone, so keep your eyes peeled, Morty-

Rick bumps into GUSTAV CHARDIN, director of the film club, who looks and is dressed exactly like Rick all the way down to having blue hair and a lab coat. Rick looks at Morty and facepalms.

RICK  
Too easy.

Rick takes Gustav's lab coat. He pulls out his portal gun and shoots Gustav Chardin with it. Gustav disappears in a flash of green light.

CUT TO:

 **EXT./BUTTWORLD, DAY**

Gustav falls out of the sky and lands on a giant ass. He screams and plugs his nose as the ass farts right in his face.

BACK TO:

 **EXT./KADIC COURTYARD, DAY**

Rick puts on Gustav's lab coat over his own lab coat and pulls Gustav's wallet out of his coat. Morty freaks out at him.

MORTY  
Wha- uh, uh- WHY?

RICK  
There can be only one Rick per dimension, Morty. And Buttworld doesn't have a Rick. Anyways, who is this guy?

STUDENT (O.S.)  
Mr. Chardin! There you are!

Rick turns around and sees ODD DELLA ROBBIA, a teenager dressed in two shades of purple with his blonde hair done up in a giant teardrop with a splotch of purple dye right in the middle. Odd runs up to Rick with a CD in his hand.

RICK  
Can I help you?

ODD  
Mr. Chardin, I wanted to give you my submission for the film club tonight.

Rick takes the CD from Odd. He nods and gives an awkward smile.

RICK  
Thanks… you.

ODD  
No problem. But, why do you have on two lab coats?

RICK  
I don't know. Why do you have on two shades of purple? I guess we all have our little fashion quirks, don't we?

A bell rings, indicating that this period's classes are about to begin.

ODD  
Okay. See ya.

Odd runs off leaving Rick and Morty alone on the courtyard.

MORTY  
Well, you've decided to impersonate a man who you've never met, and you have no idea who he is. Now what do we do?

RICK  
I dunno. Let's find this guy's office? If we're going to set up shop here, at least being head of the film club gives us a steady paycheck. Maybe.

CUT TO COMMERCIAL


End file.
